When I first heard about bedtime stories for adults, I gotta admit I laughed. Seriously? Grown folks needing tuck-ins? But my buddy kept pushing, said his brain wouldn’t shut off at night. So, I figured – why not? Let’s test this.
The Messy First Attempt
Grabbed a random book off my shelf – some dense self-help crap. Tried reading it aloud in bed. Lasted maybe three minutes. My partner actually kicked me. “Stop mumbling about productivity!” Yeah, pretty rough start. Clearly needed something calmer.
Scrolled some apps, found all these complicated tales full of dragons and elves. Too much! Brain’s supposed to wind DOWN. Dug deeper. Found these simple ones – more mood than plot. Downloaded a few. Feeling hopeful.
The Test Drive (Almost Crashed)
Set my phone timer. “10 minutes. Start!” Read one story aloud. Felt kinda silly talking to the ceiling. Focused on slowing my voice way down. Partner started chuckling. “You sound doped!” Barely made it halfway before both of us started giggling. Not exactly peaceful. But… noticed I yawned twice. Hmm. Maybe?
Next night tried solo. Phone on nightstand. Dark room. Just me and the story voice. Picked one about walking by an autumn creek. Simple words. Gentle rustling sounds played quietly. Focused on breathing slow along with the pace…
Holy crap. Woke up drooling. Phone was dead. Story ended hours ago. Couldn’t even recall the ending!
Refining My Toolkit
Knew I was onto something, but needed better tools. Free apps kept blasting ads about weight loss pills right as my eyelids got heavy. Annoying! Tried recording my OWN voice reading simple stories. Played it back that night. Woke myself up snoring from the recording. Disaster!
What finally stuck:
Physical book beats screens every time. Blue light bad. Paper good.
Short is king. 10 minutes is plenty. Eyes get tired fast.
No plot twists! Nothing exciting. Just… quiet descriptions.
Dim light only. Tiny nightstand lamp is max brightness allowed.
Found this little used bookstore downtown. They had this half-decent collection called “Tiny Tales for Tired Minds.” Bingo! Stories like “The Bakery’s Last Loaf” or “Watching Clouds Pass Overhead.” Simple. Calm. Zero drama.
What Finally Worked
Here’s my exact nightly drill now:
Brush teeth, PJs on.
Get in bed. NO phone.
Flip on tiny lamp. Just enough light to see words.
Set phone timer for 10 minutes (silent vibrate!).
Open the book. Read aloud, but softly. Slow. Like I’m whispering.
Focus on the gentle rhythm, not “finishing” the story.
When timer vibrates? STOP IMMEDIATELY. Doesn’t matter where I am in the sentence. Eyes shut. Lights out.
Took practice. First few nights, brain wanted to keep chewing on work crap. But after maybe a week? That timer buzz became like flipping a damn off switch. Now? I rarely hear it vibrate. Most nights, I’m out cold by minute seven. Realized it’s not about the story at all. It’s the RITUAL. The voice (even my own!), the rhythm, the shutting off screens – it tells your busy brain “Okay pal, shift’s over. Stand down.”
Pretty wild that pretending like a kid actually helps grown-ups sleep. Who knew? Just needed to ditch the dragons and find the boring creek walk.
